Burger King Bikini Brawl is Sadly Not Awesome

When I first saw the title "Burger King Bikini Brawl" I could only think to myself "how did they know to put all the things I wanted in one place?" I mean, if you could get a Whopper (TM) and fries while watching some good ole bikini wrasslin', all you'd need then is a cold six pack and you'd wonder if you walked into Valhalla. Alas, after watching the video, this was not to be.

Apparently, in Panama City, Florida (known as "The French Riviera, if it were run by Larry the Cable Guy") some young "women" in bikinis decided to get all violent with some Burger King employees, causing a ruckus and ultimately getting arrested. (Don't search for the mugshots--because what has been seen cannot be unseen) While normally the sight of trashy people acting as you'd expect might bring up a laugh, this scene sort of angered me because of the victims of this shittery.

Consider what the average Burger King employee has to go through on a regular basis. (I worked at a McDs, which I assume is a very similar job environment) Cleaning toilets left nasty by the sort of cheapskate ilk who frequent the joint. Cleaning gross catsup off the floors and furniture. Serving the sort of loud, obnoxious rednecks and ghetto trash who act as though they're doing you a big favor by ordering from you. Not even getting tips if you do your job well. The constant noise, lights, smells of grease, taking out garbage that stinks worse than you ever thought garbage could stink. Wearing a demeaning and uncomfortable uniform. Not being allowed to be armed, even though the job is clearly dangerous. Having co-workers who can totally get you weed but your minimum wage salary has to go towards gas money. Being on your feet the entire time.

And then this. Some trashy, likely drunk, nasty hatchet faced chicks dressed far too revealing (note: bikinis are awesome ONLY on certain bodies. Otherwise, they're an abomination!) decide to take out the frustrations of their obviously empty and dead-end lives on someone who is already in a lousy situation. Bullies, in other words--who know that they can't stand up to the strong (like that gas station attendant who reads far too much "Gun Enthusiast Quarterly") so they pick on an easy target.

My hat's off to you, kind-hearted Burger King employee--for having the strength to do what I couldn't do in your situation: refrain from dunking that hag's ugly head into the deep fryer.