Kung-Fu You!

Apparently now they arrest people in Britain for offending others. A pub singer made the mistake of singing the 1974 smash hit "Kung Fu Fighting" as some Chinese were walking by, and they called the police and the pub singer now has an arrest record.


This is outrageous on a number of levels. First, Britain might want to do something about the chavs and yobs and wankers that infest their streets and subways (though over there they call them "undergrounds") where they eat their fish and chips and ponder how they went from controlling the world to having lost control of "Spice World" (an underwhelming film if there ever was one--and mind you, it's hard to garner up any expectations for a Spice Girls film). They have much more to worry about than some guy singing a song that's frankly not offensive.


Which brings me to my second point. I have heard the song "Kung Fu Fighting" far more times than I've heard our national anthem (largely because they don't play the anthem at parties or on oldies stations). The only way it can be considered offensive to the Chinese is if you take the song to mean that the Chinese are "funky" and live in "funky" places, occasionally engaging in fisticuffs of the kung-fu variety.


Now, this doesn't happen in D.C.'s Chinatown, largely because there's about four Chinese people in that part of town, but I can't imagine that no one in any Chinese neighborhood has ever been "funky" and fought another person using the kung-fu. Frankly, that's the sort of positive stereotype you'd be better off spreading--if nothing else, it gives muggers pause--who the hell wants to try and fight a funky Chinese man who knows kung-fu?


After all, it could get a little bit frightening. When he uses expert timing. And is fast as lightning.


Not this guy!