Snakes on a Train, for Real This Time!

Let's begin with the fact that this woman thought it was a good idea to bring her pet snake on the subway. Then add a dash of "whoops" and you can imagine what happens next. The Boston transit folks manage to track down the animal (a 3-footer) and return it, but it requires cleanup costs and of course they want to have the owner pay for it--in part, because bringing a motherf--king snake on a motherf--king train is against their motherf--king policy. This hipster (only a hipster would own a snake in a city, it's the rule), who is on "disability" claims she won't pay for the cleanup costs because the transit authorities didn't show her "respect". Let's get a few things out of the way--how come every news article I read about someone on "disability" features a total faker? This gives people on real disability a bad name! I say the disabled rise up (er, pardon the pun) and smash these fakers with their crutches. Second, respect? Lady, you have blue hair and you brought a snake on a train. Your respect quota ran out the minute you thought either of those were good ideas. Third, when I get on a subway I am used to a number of indignities. Loud teenagers, thugs, cell phone talkers, obese seat-fillers--but one thing that would freak my head out would be encountering a large reptile there. And did this goon ever consider that her beloved pet might gin up its natural instincts and strangle a passenger? Someone call the animal shelter...