Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Lame Operation Names

Now that U.S. warplanes are attacking Gadaffi's forces in Libya, American planners needed a cool name for their operation and failing that, they went with a porn-star name, "Odyssey Dawn." (I loved her in "Deep Impact" which strangely isn't even a porn title. Morgan Freeman, what have you done???) Clearly, they've run out of cool names.

"Desert Storm" was pretty good--what could be more frightening than a storm in the desert, what with all the sand and flying camels and stuff? And eek, you might land on a cactus!

"Overlord"--the code name for the 1944 Normandy invasion--was pretty bad-ass as well. Not just a OVERLORD! Bow down before OVERLORD!!!! The Germans must have been shaking at that one.

Of course, the Germans had a cool name too, when they invaded Russia--"Operation BARBAROSSA." Even if you don't get the reference to the medieval knight, it's still an intimidating name. BARBAROSSA SMASH!

During Vietnam, we had "Rolling Thunder" which was a pretty neat name. This was during LBJ's time--when Nixon had his chance to bomb the 'Nam, he went with the name "Linebacker" out of a misunderstanding--see, the Vietnamese don't understand American football. That'd be like attacking the U.S. under an operation called "Batswain" or something obscure like that.

So, "Odyssey Dawn"? Really? That's what we're going with? They should have consulted me. I would have come up with something better.

Like "Operation Crocasaur". I dont' know about you, but I'm not about to screw with any crocasaur. I'm not even sure what one of those is.

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