You know what's wrong with kids today? They're too busy with their hipping and their hopping and taking drugs! (What kind of drugs, Denny, you ask? I needed drugs to buy some stuff!) And while they're doing all their drugs they go ahead and make music videos for songs like this one. In case you've been off the Internets for the past couple weeks, a 13 year old girl named Rebecca Black decided that she needed a shot at stardom (under the "If the Beiber can do it, so can I" rule) so she recorded a song called "Friday" and shot a music video that has gone viral.
Basically, the song and video teach you a number of things:
1) Friday comes after Thursday, and of course, Saturday comes next. Don't bother arguing, it's just a fact.
2) A great party idea is dressing up and hanging out in a parking lot with your underaged friends at night. There is only a marginal chance of being attacked by pedophiles.
3) We are clearly no longer the same country that was able to defeat both the Nazis and the Japanese simultaneously. We are now the country that produces videos like "Friday".
I'm trying to picture how young Rebecca Black got her parents permission (and some cash, I assume, unless she sold a hell of a lot of lemonade in front of her house) to make this thing.
Rebecca: Dad, I want to produce a music video!
Mr. Black: Great idea, Becks! My wallet is on the dresser, next to my crack pipe and a big pile of "I don't f--king think so."
Rebecca: Please, dad? I have a dream of being a star!
Mr. Black: Hey, worked well for Michael Lohan! And this way I won't have to explain all those restraining orders out against me at the office. Let's do it!