Costume Ideas

As the weekend approaches, and Halloween parties approach as well, it comes time to decide what brilliant costume to wear. There are a number of iconic possibilities:

1) Want to be political? You can put on a witch hat and go as "not Christine O'Donnell" as my fiancee suggested. You could wear an old white wool blanket and red sunglasses and go as the "demon sheep" from Carly Fiorina's "demon sheep" ad (look at 2:40 in). You could don the facial hair and gloves and go as the "Rent is too damn high" guy.

2) Want to show people how educated you are? Go dressed as "Newton's Theory of Gravity" and stay plopped on the couch during the party, asking people to bring you drinks. Carry a frame around and go as the picture of Dorian Gray, telling people that your better half is around somewhere. Go as whatever you went as last year, and be "history repeating itself".

3) Want to let people know of the plight of kids from the early '80s? Wear a cheap plastic mask of Ponch (or John) from CHiPs, coming complete with a plastic smock that says "CHiPs" on the front with a photo of a motorcycle. Yes, in the early '80s that's what passed for a costume of going as the guy from CHiPs. They were a dark time.

4) Want to get away with slapping people you don't like? Go as Ike Turner.

5) Want to reach for some cartoon nostalgia? Wear a sheet with dozens of holes, a la Charlie Brown.

6) Want to save lots of time and money? Go dressed in your street clothes, and say you're going as a 7th grader who's too cool for dressing up for Halloween.