Angel Unchained

Last night I saw the second part of the B-movie double feature, "Angel Unchained". Now, a title like that might make you think it's about some prostitute who got let out of prison, but no such luck--this was a 1969 biker film where an ex-biker-turned-hippie (yeah, let that sink in) is named "Angel" and has to protect a commune of hippies from some cowboys.

First, the guy's white--if you're a white guy and you're named "Angel" then you have much bigger problems than motorcycle sores. Step one, get a new name, like "Lance" or "Sarpedon" or "Clovis". Then you might have a chance!

So Angel joins a bunch of hippies on a commune in the southwest (one of the hippies is TV's Tyne Daly, who was Cagney or Lacey, not sure which one because in the '80s I only watched sitcoms), and learns that the town's cowboys are hassling them and trying to drive them off their hippie land. The movie--did I mention this was early Nixon years?--tries to get us to feel sympathy for these poor deluded hippies, though I've got to say I could see the cowboys' point--when has any neighborhood improved when the hippies moved in? The smell of patchouli alone was probably enough to get the rednecks ready for some good ole shootin'. Though violence isn't the answer--all they had to do was show up at the commune dressed as a job and that would have scared the hippies away.

So one of the head hippies tells Angel to get his biker gang to come and help protect them from the cowboys. Wow, what a great idea! Like that time the civil rights marchers hired the neo-Nazis to protect them from the Ku Kux Klan! Oh wait, they didn't do that because that would be pretty short-sighted. Despite Angel's objections, they bring the bikers in and hijinks ensue.

I guess they could do a sequel, where the hippies saw that their trust fund checks ran out and they had to enter the world of finance and sell out and become yuppies. Then Angel could try and save them from a corporate takeover!

Cycle Savages

Last night's "B-picture" was Cycle Savages, featuring Bruce Dern (cult movie hero and Laura Dern's father) as an insane leader of a biker gang that terrorizes an artist who has been trying to draw pictures of the gang members. Eventually, Dern and his gang, upset that the drawings the artist is making of them will be shown to the police, try to maim the artist's hands, which makes little sense to me since then the guy can simply tell the police that they attacked him. Probably would have made more sense to just kill him, but then I'm not the leader of a biker gang. Of course, I have to also wonder why the artist was drawing pictures of the bikers in the first place--was there some sort of "Hell's Angels" exhibit coming up at the Met?

Poor Bruce Dern--it'd be another nine years before he'd get an Academy Award nomination for "Coming Home". But like they say, you gotta do a lot of Cycle Savages before you make the big time.

New Titles, Folks

So yesterday I broke down and grabbed lunch at the KFC next to our office (you can see it from my office window, taunting me with it's Kentucky Fried Goodness) and sure it may have been an unhealthy meal but man those eleven herbs and spices did the trick. They were also giving out samples of their new grilled chicken, and that was pretty terrific as well. The hard part today will be going back to healthy eating.

Were you aware that Colonel Sanders wasn't a real Army colonel, but a "Kentucky Colonel" which is some sort of honorary title they hand out in the Bluegrass state? Elvis' manager Colonel Tom Parker--who was actually a Dutch immigrant and illegal alien--was another "Kentucky Colonel", as was "Colonel Homer Simpson" (when Homer was manager for country singer Lurleen Lumpkin). I think it's about time we other states had titles to hand out! Virginia could hand out titles of nobility, so I can be a "Virginia Viscount" and Maine could give out civil service titles, so the gang back in Maine could become "Maine Postmasters".

Weekend Wrap Up

Back from the NYC weekend. It began with a ride on the "Boltbus" which was a pretty high end bus for this rider of the Chinatown Express, though the driver took us on some excursion through southern Delaware that seemed rather out of the way. Using the iPhone GPS, I kept wondering "what in the hell is this dude doing" but ultimately we made it to NYC where I shivered my way across town (I was wearing shorts and expecting warmer weather). It did of course warm up the next day, and managed to meet the Beck for pizza at Lombardi's (home of the first pizza) in Little Italy and wandered through the parks on the way back uptown. Joined Andy and his crew for a dinner party, then back out to meet ole Chole on the town. Chole's gang of Mainers had "over-toured" themselves, so they were too wiped out for any partying. Weak! At least Chole found a bit of energy to stay out for a few drinks. Finally, before my ride back I met with Jer to discuss the company business, and had a nice blunch.

Now back in balmy DC, and back to work.

Stallowned!

Now, in the middle of deciding casting for Road House 3, we came upon an epiphany (noun, Gr., meaning "thing that's totally neat")--what if we could get FRANK STALLONE in our film? Just think, the number of cult movie buffs who'd see our movie ironically would be enough to pay for the production!

It's part of one of the Golden Rules of Hollywood, as taught by old-style mogul Louis Mayer (one of MGM's founders)--"When in doubt, hire Frank Stallone."

NYC Weekend

After work today I head to NYC, for a weekend of taking care of business. This means my informal shareholder meeting with Jer, who hopefully will tell me something better than "we're broke dude", and working on the Road House 3 outline with Andy who is still obsessed with getting Sammy Hagar into the picture which would require a change of location for the film to Cabo San Lucas. Also hope to see the Beck, and Chole and her Maine Gang will be in town doing the touristy stuff that I'll happily skip and catch up with them after. We also supposedly have a dinner party Saturday (rumor is it'll feature fondue, and a fondue to you too) and I have to somehow fit a lot of pizza in there.

The question is can I avoid the usual NYC hangover? Time will tell! One can never predict what happens in NYC. And once I step on the isle of Manhattan, it is out of my hands.

More Road House 3 News

One of the issues we're dealing with in creating "Road House 3--Back to Basics" is that every young star or starlet wants to use a role in the film as their key to fame. Their "Oscar moment" as it were--and for some, maybe a comeback film (the way Pulp Fiction was for John Travolta, or Godfather was for Marlon Brando). Who is going to want the part as evil Brad Wesley's twin brother who doesn't look like Brad Wesley and may not actually be evil after all? (Mind you, this will be a complex role) I'm thinking we might have something for Harrison Ford here, since frankly his career has been in the toilet lately (no thanks to Spielberg and Lucas, two guys who created the suckfest that was the Indiana Jones sequel--of course, Lucas sucks period. He already destroyed one franchise!). Could Ford pull off the role of Enos Wesley?

Then of course there's Jeff Bridges, who has shown a great deal of range over the years, from Last Picture Show to Starman to Lebowski. He apparently played a villain in Ironman, though I didn't see it yet so I don't know how convincing he was.

John Goodman also needs a role, now that I have Lebowski on my mind.

Ah, the perils of being a Hollywood hotshot! Decisions, decisions.