Monday, September 21, 2009

Bump the Rump!

I just recently finished reading the book "The Bronx is Burning" which was lent to me by my very literate friend Andy (he likes to go by the nickname "Books McGee") and was intrigued by the lookback to what it was like in New York of the 1970s--dangerous, gritty, yet charming. Though the read we're reminded that this was the age of disco music.

Disco music. Yes, the music form that uses string sections, horn sections, a throbbing beat, and constant repetition. The music form that proved that if you can come up with three words, you too can qualify as a songwriter. The only music form to date that produced a backlash so powerful that it actually resulted in a riot.

Clearly, I could have been a disco song writer! Forget my lack of talent, let's just start from the premise that all you need is a catchy beat, such as: bum bum bum da cha da bum bum bum (and picture that repeated for about five minutes). Then we throw in the lyrics:

"Baby baby bump that rump, bump bump bump oh yeah".

And repeat that about a hundred times, every third time in falsetto.

Now, we'd get "Bump the Rump" on regular airplay by sharing the track with DJ's who are doing bar mitzvahs and weddings, so we can get some footage of people enjoying it, and share that with some record producers. Casey Kasem would come out of retirement so he could introduce the song on his Top 40 show, maybe with a "long distance dedication" from a Marine in Kandahar, Afghanistan who wants to "Bump the Rump once he gets back to his wife Clarice, on home leave. Clarice knows what he means by this." Then, the only question is what do I do with all the money from royalties.

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