So, they're predicting snow today. Lovely. I get to spend my evening sitting on the highway behind severe traffic backups because some mouth-breather in their SUV decided to speed on the ice and create a wreck, shutting down a lane. This, my friends, is the suck.
I have come to dread snow as an adult, because snow doesn't mean not having to go to school, or making snow forts, or sledding. Besides kids, the only people who can possibly enjoy snow are:
1) Ski bums. Yeah, they just love their cumbersome hobby that requires serious equipment maintenance and access to chair lifts. This is probably because they haven't discovered drinking by a fire. They'll learn!
2) Russians defending themselves from the Nazis. However, while Jack Frost did help save Russia in WWII, the Russians were still stuck with a problem. They lived in a frozen hell that only a nut like Hitler would want.
3) Midwestern serial killers. These guys love hiding bodies in the snow, which can hide evidence for long enough to flee the country. But I have no plans to move to the midwest. Or, er, become a serial killer.
Sadly, leaving Maine I must have brought the winters with me. At least the Mainers can rejoice in milder days!
Christie the Liar
2 months ago