Hipsters Defined! Still No Cure for Cancer

Scienticians at Harvard have many different things they can study for the betterment of mankind. How to cure cancer. How to find a new energy form cheaper and safer than oil. Whether there are any nearby planets that can support life, and maybe even be populated by sexy Amazon warriors. Instead, the Harvarders are studying what in fact makes you a hipster.

The researchers have determined in fact that being a hipster is defined by liking what no one else likes, and I call total BS on this one. After all, we don't see hipsters flocking to places like Iowa, where no one wants to live, and buying Tiny Tim songs that no one wants to listen to, and eating raw chicken drenched in milk because no one in their right mind would eat that. People who truly like what no one else likes isn't called a hipster, they're simply called weird.

Hipsters, I'd argue, are better defined by THINKING that they like something no one else likes, that they're sort of uber-cool because they have discovered something that is about to be popular so that they can look down on those who get on the bandwagon later. They'll listen to the indie rock band that hasn't gotten famous yet, not because they just happen to like this music they discovered, but because they want the joy of saying they were into it WAY before they went mainstream. They'll live in that neighborhood that is just starting to become livable, not because the rent's still cheap but because once it's a popular place they can then say they were living there years ago.

Hipster is about snobbery, but not snobbery in the "I can afford nicer things than you" or "I am smarter/faster/better than you" sense--rather, it's snobbery in the "I am more cool than you because I am ahead of you on what's popular" sense.

But hey, I knew this way before those Harvard researchers made it mainstream.