Wednesday, January 25, 2012


Why does anyone cover the State of the Union addresses these days? The speeches are always long (at least an hour) and filled with mindless robotic applause (only by the President's party, the opposition party has to be very careful about what they applaud, because oops if you're a Republican and you clap when the President says the damn Republicans are being jerks). Nothing new is ever addressed--just cheap spin about what a great job the Prez did in the past year, a bunch of poll-tested garbage for the coming year that isn't likely to ever get passed in its intended reform, and pointless sweeping statements that can mean almost anything in actual practice. So I generally skip these speeches.

But since they're going to be covered by the media anyway, why not make them entertaining? Here's some ideas:

1) Have the President bring out a puppet in the perfect likeness of the leader of the opposition party, and have "conversations". It can be like Obama saying "gee, John Boehner, what do you think of my proposal to increase college graduation rates?" Boehner-puppet: "I think it sucks! College is for nerds!" Then the real Boehner can go "Oh I didn't say it that way!"

2) Have the address given by an impressionist who does a great sendup of the President.

3) Require the entire speech to be given in limerick form.

4) Limit the speech to a half hour, with a buzzer sounding if they go over.

5) Really, the puppet idea. I'd have a hard time not re-electing a president who used a puppet in the SOTU.


  1. The puppet idea is good. Scantily clad back-up dancers, though, now that's a winning formula.