1) Presidents and presidential candidates should never be seen wearing jeans. They always just look weird and uncomfortable when wearing them.
2) Yard signs--what the hell? Does anyone ever go driving through a neighborhood or along a main road and say "hey, that sign says to vote for Candidate X, and provides no other information! They got my vote!"?
3) All this talk of "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps". What even is this??? How do you physically lift yourself up by pulling at your own footwear? As a metaphor, this is physically impossible.
4) Four years too late, I realize that Sarah Palin would have had the perfect line for Katie Couric when she was asked which newspapers she read (instead of her actual, idiotic "all of them" response). She could have said "I read the Billings Gazetteer. It's an obscure paper, I'm sure you haven't heard of them." Right there she would have locked down the hipster vote!
5) People who make fun of Mormons for their more "out there" beliefs seem to be okay with Catholics, who are required to believe that every Sunday they are in fact eating the blood and body of Jesus Christ. Is there some rule that if a religion's belief system is old enough, it's no longer fair game to make fun of it?
6) The media can use statistical models to project the winner of an election with under 2% of the returns sampled. By that theory, how come sports media haven't been able to predict the winner of a football game just two minutes into the game?
7) The Constitution doesn't specifically say that the president of the United States has to be a homo sapiens. You know it's only a matter of time before a lovable gorilla is elected and then made subject to the most embarrassing Supreme Court case of all time.
Envelopes – Essential Buyers Manuals
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