Having watched the recent film "Rise of the Planet of the Apes"--an attempt the reboot the classic Nixon-era series--I can't help but wonder a few things about the story. Spoiler alert--the apes rise!
1) There were a hell of a lot of apes going amok at the climax of the film. Now, counting the zoo, testing labs, circuses, and random Italian guys with organ grinders, how damn many monkeys could there possibly be in the San Francisco area? It's not like everyone owns a pet monkey (despite San Fran's large hipster population).
2) I would have at least expected one great "Oh, CRAP!" moment in the film from a banana daquiri vendor as he sees a crowd of apes jumping towards him. Why would the film fail to include such an obviously necessary scene?
3) James Franco near the end should have ripped off his "human" mask to reveal he was an ape in disguise all along. It would have explained his acting.
4) What, are we supposed to be rooting for the apes to take over and kill a bunch of humans simply because an ape-jailer in the middle of the film was being a jerk to the apes? Because by that theory we should be rooting for inmates at maximum security prisons to take over the Earth. No thanks, hippies!
5) The original series was supposed to be an allegory about how humans of varying races treat one another. The reboot seems to be giving us the message that if you're ordered to euthanize all the lab apes, there's a good reason for it.
How-to Publish a Range Statement
5 weeks ago