When someone says you are "without equal" it's not always a compliment. After all, the dumbest kid in the class is "without equal" and one could easily argue that when I played football I was "without equal" because no one else on the team had such lack of drive and ambition. But it is my goal this weekend to invent a chilli that is truly without equal. This shall be the mega-chilli.
In previous years, I've made "accidental" chillis. Some weeks back I forgot to bring ground beef (I'd remembered to buy it but left it in the fridge at work) so it turned into "bacon chilli". (Could I have made it "veggie chilli"? Perhaps, and perhaps you should go ask your Commissar you America-hating Bolshevik!) Years back, I'd picked up tomato paste instead of tomato soup for the base, and the chilli came out a lot more like a jacked-up spaghetti sauce than a hearty southwestern style chilli.
What is going to make this weekend's chilli special? It's going to depend on what the good folks at Safeway--whose mantra is "we don't sell that"--have in store. Because this guy's feeling creative! Peppers, onions, ground beef, chicken? Who knows! Maybe some cookie dough will find its way into the delicious sauce.