Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Earth Day, Bah Humbug!

Either today is Earth Day, or we're close to it--I don't even care enough to look it up and I'm actually at a computer so it wouldn't be so hard to do it if I wanted. That's just how little I care about Earth Day.

What, you ask? You don't love the Earth? What sort of monster are you? Come off it, swampy--I have many reasons for hating this Earth you love so dear. The history of humans is just one long struggle between us and nature, with Earth committing mass murder on a regular scale between hurricanes and tusnamis and islands of the damned. (Yes, that island with five snakes for every square meter? Only a sick hell-bitch like Mother Nature could dream that up) And what do we do in every single culture around the world? We constantly worship this nature, even while we have to build houses to fend off Nature's constant attempts to kill us. Hell, right now I'm suffering the usual seasonal allergies that would probably leave me a shaking mess on the ground if it weren't for central air and medication--created by humans in our struggle against, you guessed it, Nature!

Up yours, Earth! I'm going to go kick a tree during my lunch break.

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