Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Gores Split

The news that Al and Tipper Gore are splitting up came as a surprise, but in retrospect it really shouldn't have. There's something about a couple being so lovey-dovey in public (including the nauseating "get a room!" kiss at the 2000 Democratic Convention) that tips you off that there's something wrong. Contrast that with Bill and Hillary Clinton, who in public seem to be icy cold and downright hostile to one another. Folks, that's the sort of marriage that lasts! If for no other reason than because they want to stay together out of spite.

How can you tell if a marriage will last? Here are the signs of a healthy marriage:

1) Rather than mushy nicknames like "boo boo" and "honey bear" they call each other things like "sport" and "ace".

2) They don't hold hands when they walk down the street, because then what do you do if there's a lamppost between you? You'd be stuck! Don't risk it!

3) They refer to the children they had together as "your kids" or "your little monsters" or "your nightmarish fiends that ruined my hopes and dreams".

4) They shake hands when they meet at airports.

5) They don't pick each other at company picnic softball games, because marriage may be one thing but damned if they have a weak throw.

Too bad for Al and Tipper, but think about this a minute--had they split up before the 2000 election, would that have made any difference as to Al's chances in the presidential race? Should it have? And if so, why?

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