Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Only in Film

Only in Hollywood films...

1) Do people's grocery bags always have a long loaf of French bread in them, so that you can tell the bag is filled with groceries. No one ever goes shopping without getting a loaf of French bread.

2) Do people get shot in the arm and still retain use of the arm later. No one ever suffers severe enough nerve or muscle damage to render the arm completely immobile.

3) Do people get into bar fights, with chairs and bottles broken over them, without suffering the sort of damage that requires a trip to the hospital.

4) Do average people in fights land perfect punches, rather than the sloppy slappy hits that you usually see in real life.

5) Do people who not look at or react to the explosions that they set, because they knew the exact second the explosion would go off and even a loud bang or rush of heat isn't enough to break their cool stride.

6) Do people regularly repeat what is being said to them over the telephone, just so anyone overhearing the call can figure out the conversation on the other end.

7) Do dogs and cats always sense unnatural and paranormal presences. Because of course a heightened sense of smell means you can tell if there's a ghost in the house.

8) Do couples laying naked in bed have the sheet manage to cover the woman's entire upper body, and only the lower half of the man's body.

9) Do people in shootouts throw away their gun once it's empty. Because of course they'll likely never have another use for that gun, or find more bullets later.


  1. Yeah, I've always wondered about #8. I always feel a bit cheated when this happens.

    As for #2 (hehehe) as someone once said, there's a lot going on in the shoulder. Getting shot there hurts. Also, I'd add a 2a: Do people who get stabbed in the stomach with a pocket knife die a quick and silent death.

  2. Foggy--I have noticed that in most cases the person using a knife is a bad guy--good guys tend to use guns, swords, and their bare hands. Why is that?

  3. Cause knives are for sneaky, dishonest people. Or heroic special forces operators who like to silently take out evil guards.

  4. Foggy, what about movies that take place in olden times? Seems they always have the good guy using a sword, and the bad guys using spears or clubs unless it's the head bad guy in which case they also use swords.