Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Our Entertainment Industry Should Be Scrapped and Replaced With Whatever They Use in Uganda

Television in the 1980s generally sucked, with the exception of a handful of decent sitcoms (e.g., Cheers). This was partly because the '80s were suffering a polyester-based-disco-bland hangover from the previous decade, and we were still trying to get our heads together, man! Also, the people running the major networks had the brains of a pot of dirt. On the list of people who destroyed culture, with the inventor of poofy pants ranking a "1" and the practitioners of the "Electric Slide" ranking a "10", the big network execs of the '80s rank about a 43.

They brought us dreck like "Knight Rider" (mulletted Hoff bringing justice to people across the country with his talking Trans Am). The "A-Team" (a group of 'Nam vets including a man looking like Mr. T who was able somehow to elude the authorities, while pitying many fools). "Manimal" (a show that brought shame to both man and animal). And of course the wave of nostalgia has already brought a TV reboot of "Knight Rider" and an "A-Team" movie (no word yet on developments for "Manimal").

News flash--some things are better left to the dead! We don't need a "Mr. Belvedere" movie, or a 2010 version of "Dallas". Are we that far out of fresh ideas? (Scanning the TV listings--yes, yes we are.)

But, as an enterprising entrepreneur, I say think ahead. Two decades from now the nostalgia for the 2010s will kick in, and I plan to cash in on the wave of film versions of "Dancing With the Stars" and "Jersey Shore".


  1. Or, better yet, Jersey Shore 2030: Takin' Back their Yutes. We could watch balding and fat men, and stretched-so-tight-by-plastic-surgery women, as they visit their oncologists to have another melanoma removed before doing their laundry and then going back to the tanning booth against medical advice. Sure to be a winner.

  2. Foggy, I think they already have that. It's called Sex and the City.