Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Goddam Delaware

Some people wonder why Delaware, a small intrusive state, earns so much bile from me that I have re-named it "New Jersey's Ugly Brother". Sure, they produce luminaries such as Christine "I Know All Sixteen Amendments By Heart" O'Donnell and Joe "Has Anyone Seen My Underwear?" Biden. Sure, they put a massive toll on a very short stretch of Interstate 95 to fleece travellers between NY and DC. Sure, they call themselves "The First State" even though they only ratified the Constitution first because there's literally nothing else going on in that stupid state.

But now, they decided to close off a bunch of lanes on I-95 on Thanksgiving weekend for construction. Great idea, jerks! Just because you're staying in your stupid Wilmington and Dover homes eating turkey doesn't mean you should screw over those of us who have to drive that day! Keep pushing us and we'll find a way to sever you off from the mainland, never to be seen again, just like we did to East Virginia.

And the best part? The construction in question is being paid for by federal stimulus funds. So we'll be paying taxes down the road for Delaware to do repairs on a 20 mile stretch of highway that they already make big toll money on. Next time you see Joe Biden give him the finger.


  1. I have to say that my many many years of commuting up to NY from DC, the bottleneck is always stupid Delaware. I feel they do it on purpose, because they only get you for 20 minutes before you get to the Jerz, they want to keep you longer.

    But on the flip side, I'm a homeowner down at the beaches (which they call LSD: Lower, Slower Delaware) and my yearly tax bill (town + county) is about the same amount of money you would make on a bad day at a lemonade stand.

    So I guess now we know why they need federal funds to do their roads.

  2. Velvet--that explains it! Surely there's some Dormant Commerce Clause violation going on with those tolls being used for general funds. What do we even have a Supreme Court for anyway if they can't step in???

  3. That tool, oh, excuse me, toll plaza reminds me of the ones Virginia had in Richmond all those years ago to pay for the 295 bypass. There was nothing quite like trying to drive 95 through Richmond on a holiday weekend and then coming to a screeching halt not once, but four times to pay 50 cents each time. The only thing that got me through was Metalica's Black Album. Give Virginia credit, though, once they paid off 295 they took out the toll booths, unlike a certain state to our north.

  4. Haha I think everyone needs their own scapegoat state. I'm from the South so we tend to blame Mississippi for everything bad. I don't think we even need Delaware. We should just sell it off and donate the money to the national deficit.


  5. Foggy--weren't all tolls supposed to be "temporary"? They'd erect them just to pay off the bridge, then hey look, tolls still up, for "bridge maintenance" which really means "more for the general funds so our taxpayers don't have to pay for stuff". Jerks!

    Delilah--in Maine we had the "Mass-holes" to our south! I'm all for selling off Delaware, but who'd buy it?