Taking my pleasant weekend stroll is one of the things I enjoy most about fall--the charming neighborhoods, parks, and city folk who populate the sidewalk seating at the bars and cafes. Saturday was to be like any other. Of course, I knew a rally was going on at the Mall, but figured I'd cut through the crowd, see some clever signs and costumes, and be on my way.
Alas, the Mall was packed to the gills! And people were not moving out of the way. Hipsters, hipsters everywhere! And more than a few yuppies. Trying to navigate a crowd is hard enough, but a crowd carrying big signs is even worse. And if some clod decided to get there super early and lay out a blanket so they could sit on the Mall all day, and you needed to walk past and had no choice but to step on their blanket, you were going to get a "hipster scolding".
("Hipster scolding" is defined by a remark laden with such an overdose of sarcasm that you aren't even sure if it's sarcastic. It's like a black hole of sarcasm.)
I did manage to use fancy footwork to wheedle through the crowd and finally get to the other side of the Mall, and continue my walk, and at every Metro stop more rallygoers streamed in. I made a mental note to give the Mall a wide berth on my walk back later, and figured that'd be the end of that.
But then, later needed to go to the store for groceries. As our Safeway is the closest one to the Mall, well, you guessed it--packed with hipsters yet again! Which would be fine if they didn't keep running into you on their way to use the bathrooms and buy up as much PBR as the store would keep in stock. I wish I were making up that tired stereotype, but seriously, they took ALL the PBR. (Fortunately, I'm a Dos Equis sort of guy).
Did they restore sanity, you ask? Well, not to my neighborhood they didn't!