As we move along in our "Greatest American City" tournament, a lot of people (mostly from cities that suck) have complained about the methodology used in selecting winners. Here are some FAQs:
Q: What makes you an authority on American cities when you've never even been to Seattle?
A: I've seen the movie Singles. Okay, heard the soundtrack.
Q: Do you use a special methodology to decide which cities face off against one another?
A: Yes, assuming you have no followup questions.
Q: It seems pretty arbitrary to base points on whether a song includes the city in its lyrics, or whether you had a good meal there. Millions of people are being judged!
A: That's not really a question.
So, today we have a face-off between perennial favorite, New Orleans, and up and coming Indianapolis. Indy did well in the regionals against Cleveland and Cincinnati but it remains to be seen whether they can fight off the infamous Crescent City!
1) Indy: was featured as the setting for TV's "One Day at a Time". Since that show really sucked (sorry Valerie Bertinelli fans!) Indy loses points to N.O.
2) New Orleans has a colorful pronunciation from its locals, who call it "Nawlins". How quaint and charming! Indy natives mispronounce their city "Andyapolis". Or at least some guy named Andy did that, and it really was lame. Points for Nawlins!
3) New Orleans is often called the Big Easy because it's easy to live there if you're big. (This is because it has so many great buffets). Indy is nicknamed "The City You Stay in When You Run Out of Gas On Your Way To Chicago'. Points for N.O.!
4) New Orleans residents have created muffaletta sandwiches, beignets, po-boys, and numerous Creole dishes. Indy is best known for being close enough to Chicago to drive for a nice meal. Points to N.O. again! Indy better catch up!
5) Indy is home to the Colts, a franchise that was really excellent back in the '50s and '60s....when it was in Baltimore. Okay, I'll give them credit for a Peyton Manning too....though the Saints won the last Superbowl, playing against....eek, that was Indy! Slight edge to N.O.
So it looks like New Orleans survived Katrina and roared back to a resounding victory against Indy.