Pizzastravaganza

January is well known as an awful month during which I would try to literally hibernate if it weren't for the requirement to work at my job in order to make money to afford goods and services, but there are little things we can do to make the month more bearable. One of these things is Pizzastravaganza.

For a while I have been discussing how a cold day can be much improved with making plenty of hot homemade pizza (and drinking non-homemade beer to go with it), if only the nearby stores sold pre-made dough in a bag. Safeway is notable for not having such wonderful inventions, and the idea of making the dough from scratch does not appeal. What am I, some kind of hippie? Dough in a bag, folks! So my friend Lady Z (who conveniently lives right down the hall) offered to host Pizzastravaganza at her place, and to supply the doughs from a trip to Whole Foods. Things were coming together.

So the gang comes over, and everyone brought plenty of key ingredients--peppers, pepperoni, sausage, onions, mushrooms, cheese, basil, sauce, olives--even some things that should be no where near a pizza. I'm talking about the inexplicably popular pineapple.

See, the Hawaiians are good at some things--volcanos, surfing, the occasional putting of curses on the Brady Bunch--but pizza is just not one of them. Pineapple, you see, is a fruit, and fruits belong on pizzas about as much as Cousin Oliver belonged on Brady Bunch. (Full disclosure--I don't actually watch the Brady Bunch because I have a deep aversion to astroturf lawns) This is also why we don't have apple pizza or strawberry pizza or Simon Cowell pizza. Fruit belongs in desserts and breakfasts. Let's leave it at that, people!

Still, gotta give the crowd what the crowd wants, so pineapple pizza we make, along with many other loaded pies. What impressed me most was our rapid pizza efficiency--no sooner did one pizza come out of the oven than another was slid in, making for a rate of five pizzas per hour (just imagine if the apartments were next door to one another, and both ovens could be used!). The gang, which had devoured Shannon's antipasta platter and several Doritos, was ravenous and attacked those pizzas like the critics attacked the Brady Bunch.

All told, a successful late January Sunday, all the best to bid farewell to the worst month.