Every year it seems there are discussions about whether to redesign the National Mall in order to better make use of its space, including adding ampitheaters, new types of landscaping, etc. The current use of the space--political rallies, pickup kickball games, frisbee for dudebros, kite festivals, and an ever-encroaching building of memorials to one thing or another--could certainly be improved. Allow me to run through some suggestions:
1) Turn the entire space into the world's largest farmer's market. Thousands upon thousands of booths where artists, butchers, craftsfolk, and farmers can sell their wares to yuppies and hipsters! The license fees alone would cut into our national debt. Downside--elderly drivers creating record number of fatalities crashing into the world's largest farmer's market.
2) Turn the entire space into a lake. Think of the low maintenance, the ice skating, the boating opportunities! Downside--the next giant rally for Americans for Redistricting Reform would require more rafts than they could afford.
3) Plant an insane number of blackberry bushes covering the entire mall. Tourists could gather from far and wide to come to the nation's capital to pick blackberries in the shadow of the Washington Monument. Downside--the mall will become overrun with deer, causing accidents on Independence and Constitution Avenues.
4) Cover the entire mall with sand. It'd be more like a national beach! Then we'd no longer have to drive for hours in heavy traffic to get to Ocean City. Downside--sandstorms.
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