Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Things I'd Like to See in Time Travel Movies

1) The time traveler hears music from a different time period from the period in which he is traveling.  E.g., a time traveler lands in 1971 and the radio is playing oldies from the 1950s.

2) The time traveler goes back 500 years and quickly realizes that the English spoken back then was impossible to understand without a degree in Middle English.

3) The time traveler goes into the future and you know what, it's not some dark dystopia where everyone is hunting the poor for food.  Life is actually a lot better for most people than it is today, just like life today is a lot better for most people than it was 100 years ago.

4) The time traveler meets his great, great grandfather, and the man does not look like an exact replica of himself with a mustache and muttonchops, because that would be stupid.

5) The time traveler goes back to Victorian times, and gets all excited to score some fine old timey chicks, then realizes that the standard of beauty is completely different back then and he'll have to turn gay instead.

6) The time traveler gets all excited at the idea that his six dollars that he brought with him should be enough to buy a house back in 1860, until he realizes that no one will accept weird bank notes and if he doesn't stop trying to exchange them people will think he's a witch and burn him at the stake.

7) The time traveler goes back to 1920 to kill a young Hitler, but realizes Hitler knew ju-jitsu and this was left out of the history books because it really didn't fit with the flow of WWII.

8) The time traveler correctly accounted for the placement of the earth at the exact time of his arrival in his time travel, but did not account for a small bird flying in that exact spot so when he arrives he has half a bird stuck to his head and that becomes far more interesting than his ability to travel through time.

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