Friday, April 8, 2011
1) I've noticed when I'm on the elevator with one other person, and then they get off on their floor, and I have the elevator to myself, I automatically move out to the middle of the car as though staking out territory. Even in modern elevators the instincts of animal days take over. Fortunately I don't also try and mark my territory, since our building only has so many elevator cars and I'll have to ride in them again. 2) What is it about buses? We always try and avoid them at all costs on the highway, and god forbid you get stuck behind one in traffic. Of course, this could be because all buses are driven by the insane. 3) You know what word people rarely use anymore? Nonplussed. Probably because no one knows what it means. I'm very plussed about that issue. 4) Has anybody wondered what happened to Bob Dole these days? Or is it just me wondering that? I'm sure he's up to something, that rascal! 5) I'd probably be really good at writing an advice column. Not because I'm good at writing advice, but because I'd answer all questions with directions for how to make delicious sandwiches. Then, the readers might think they wrote in to the wrong column, but at least would be like "I really should try that sandwich" and then they'd have that. 6) I wonder if in China on a cold night they decide to "order in some Chinese" but instead have to just say "let's order in some of our nation's cuisine". Or do they order in some American, and complain about how you're not hungry again for several hours? 7) With the looming government shutdown, it's sad to see all my liberal friends blaming just the Republicans and my conservative friends blaming just the Democrats, as though we shouldn't be holding our own sides to a level of adulthood. It'd be nice to see every voter vow to vote independent next time around but that's just not gonig to happen.