Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Wednesday Thoughts

1) I get why no one names their kid "Adolf" anymore, but I don't understand why no one names their kid "Sherlock". After all, Holmes was a master of deduction! Who wouldn't want their kid to be a master of deduction?

2) When I see the media "call" an election with only a sample of 2% of the votes counted--and generally get it right--it makes me wonder if we might see a day when a war gets called early in the first battle. Imagine about ten minutes into the Battle of the Coral Sea, the Japanese realizing that statistically there was no way they could win the war, and coming to terms long before losing millions of people and their whole empire.

3) Adam Sandler is making a film based on the board game "Candyland." There is some idiot greenlighting this in Hollywood, who is saying to investors "just imagine the synergies of the always strong Adam Sandler demographic and the fans of Candyland. Can't miss!" And this person is well paid to make such decisions. I propose we build a moat around Hollywood and start fresh with a new Tinseltown somewhere in Nevada.

4) Every time I read an article about how bad high heels are for the feet, there's always at least one comment saying that high heels were obviously invented by men. This is true, except it ignores that they were also invented FOR men. Aristocrats at the time of Louis XIV wanted to look taller. And I should point out that I have yet to know any man who sees a woman in flats and says "she's hot, except what's with the low heels???"

5) The Everglades swamp now has a serious problem with pythons being released into the wild by morons who somehow think it's a good idea to own a giant snake until the food bills come. And there are also millions of amateur hunters in the country who have too much time on their hands. I fail to see how these two problems can't be solved together?

6) And no, I'm not volunteering to hunt anything in the Everglades. More likely I'd make it about twenty feet into the swamp before tripping and shooting myself with my own rifle.

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