Couponers!

Apparently there's this group of people out there called "extreme couponers" who have elevated their basic cheapness to a form of sport. These aren't your ordinary "hey look I can save on toilet rolls with this coupon, I'll bring it next time I'm at the store" people--no, the "extreme" couponers will spend countless hours rummaging through the trash to collect multiple coupons from both manufacturers and stores, bring them all in and force the cashier to apply "extreme" discounts, sometimes even getting the store to pay them to take their products, and causing an "extreme" headache for ordinary shoppers like me who get stuck behind them on line.

Stores are now trying to fight this scourge of extremely low-class cheapskates. You see, "extreme" couponers not only take up "extreme" amounts of time at the checkout, but they also tend to clear out all the stock in certain items in order to take full advantage of their coupons. I have a few suggestions for the stores:

1) Make sure your coupons read "one per customer, cannot be combined with any other offer".

2) Set up a special checkout lane for "coupons only" so that couponers (who always take longer) won't hold up normal shoppers. This line should also be reserved for old ladies who pay by check, people who want to flirt with the cashiers, or anyone else who doesn't have their lives together.

3) Give your cashiers full license to publicly shame any "extreme" couponer. Let them know there will be no adverse employment action if they decide to go on the intercom and say "price check on cheapskate special! Price check on cheapskate special for lowlife who has too much time on his hands!" There is some business you're better off losing.