Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Wednesday Reflections

1) Referring to someone as a "white hispanic" is assinine. What's next, the "gentile jew"? Keep finding those new lows, New York Times!

2) You know what I haven't heard enough about lately? This "Hunger Games" thing. If only the media would provide some coverage!

3) Maybe it's just me, but I think my neighborhood could really use a theater that only plays "mumblecore" films. It would draw exactly the clientele I need to open up my "pretentious hats" store.

4) They have really not done enough to cater to Americans' twin desires of chocolate and beer. Why so few choco-beers, brewing industry? Why?

5) If I'm a Supreme Court justice, then I've likely graduated near the top of my class at one of the country's top law schools, clerked for another Supreme Court justice, and spent many years of intense scholarship, legal practice, and likely a judgeship. I've also likely been through a ringer of a Senate hearing and confirmation, and reached the top of my profession. My decisions on Constitutional issues will be based on solid precedent and well reasoned analyses of the law. You know what won't sway my decisionmaking? A bunch of yahoos camped outside the courthouse with idiotic protest signs.

6) Remember when everyone was shocked a couple years ago when KFC invented a sandwich using two pieces of fried chicken as bread? We were so innocent then. Now Taco Bell has a taco using Dorito for the shell.

7) March Madness is that special time of the year when students at top basketball schools get to go wild rooting for a team of mercenary atheletes who happen to use their school's facilities but wouldn't be caught dead socializing with the regular students. It's good practice for the pros, when riff-raff around the city will hoot and holler for a team of even better paid athletes who will never associate with them and easily switch teams for better pay.

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