Monday, May 14, 2012

Rambo? A Ram-blast!

Watching the latest installment of the "Rambo" series (this one titled simply "Rambo") I just have one thing to say--I loved every Ram-bit of the film!  Sure, it was unrealistic as hell, but the minute you see Vietnam Vet John Higgenbotham Rambo selling cobras to Thai merchants, and hunting fish with a bow and arrow, you know you're not exactly in documentary country.  You can be assured that (a) John Rambo just wants to live a peaceful life, (b) some cartoonishly evil people who wouldn't know nuance if it hit them over the head are going to do some awful things that will force Rambo out of "retirement", and (c) there's going to be a lot of worm food by the end of this kill-crazy death-a-thon.  Of death.

Here, some do-gooder Christian missionaries take a break from protesting outside of gay abortion clinics to deliver medical supplies to oppressed tribespeople in Burma.  They ask Rambo to take them upriver so they can make the delivery, at which point Rambo says "absolutely.  I must kill again to appease my gods."

No, of course he refuses and of course the hippies go anyway, and of course they get captured and of course John Rambo has to slaughter an army of Burmese troops who seem to have been trained exclusively in the art of murdering unarmed villagers.  (Note--these movies might be more suspenseful if it shows the bad guys actually putting up a good fight against trained troops, so you see what Rambo is up against!  Also, maybe some nuance?  Where the bad guys aren't abosolutely Saturday-morning-cartoon evil all the time?  No?  Okay)  The special effects are terrific, and Rambo is at his Ram-best.  (Okay, that was the last pun)

Sylvester Stallone, the star, of course is getting on in years so there likely won't be any further sequels.  But I imagine the money-sucking automatons running Hollywood have a prequel in development--maybe something showing a young John Rambo going from troubled '60s teenager to Special Forces maven in 'Nam, and with Colonel Trautman and the rest of his squad, and getting captured in the tiger cage and all that.  (I also imagine that tigers aren't that fond of human cages either)  A young unknown actor could restart the franchise from an earlier point in time though the studio will probably use James Franco.  They could even feature a young Sheriff Brian Dennehy (yes I don't know the name of his character from the first film, and can't be bothered to look it up) beating up hippies at a college campus.

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