Friday, May 4, 2012

Romantic Comedies Can Use Some Realism

Everyone knows romantic comedies suck, but were you aware that they are also poisoning the minds of stupid people?  It's true!  Generations of young men and women are growing up expecting that their lives will turn out like romantic comedies, only to have their worlds dashed by harsh reality.  This article cleanly sums up a number of lies told by romantic comedies. 

When I watch a romantic comedy--which is all the time, because I clearly hate myself--I try to think of how the film could have injected some real life lessons that would better prepare younger, more impressionable viewers for the realities that lay ahead.  Here are some features that could improve the learning experience of these educational films:

1) Guy and girl are "good buddies" but one of them wants something more.  Instead of making their feelings known, s/he decides that this is just a "proximity crush" and that they really wouldn't be better off as a couple, and so soon finds someone more suitable.  The friendship will continue platornically, or fizzle if it turns out that it was held together by an unhealthy crush.

2) When the guy discovers his true feelings for the girl, but she's about to board a plane to some far-flung locale, he checks to see if he can buy an immediate ticket to the same place so he can meet her there and tell her his true feelings with roses and crap.  The ticket agent tells him the price, which is really steep for a last minute ticket, and the guy decides that's outrageous and instead goes home and writes the girl a nice email.

3) A guy and girl are bickering at work, because one is too stuffy and driven and the other is too much of a fun loving slacker.  Rather than getting turned on during a heated argument, they instead decide that their fighting could hurt both of their careers, and so they ask Human Resources to transfer one of them to a separate department so they don't have to interact.

4) A woman dates a "player" who seems to not respect women, but this is because he's been hurt bad once before and it's just a defense mechanism.  Instead of teaching him the error of his ways, she decides who needs the drama and finds a more suitable mate.

5) A woman's "sassy black friend" actually stays out of her affairs, because even sassy black friends have lives of their own and dont' want to waste their time with other people's bullcrap.

6) The girl is into a working class "bad boy" who her parents don't approve of because of his hardscrabble ways.  Turns out they're right because the guy's also kind of a jerk and insensitive.

7) The guy tries to win over the girl, by climbing a ladder outside her bedroom window and serenading her with a lute.  She immediately gets a restraining order because this is creepy. 

8) A self-proclaimed "pickup artist" finds a woman who just won't play his games.  Rather than relishing the challenge with her, he decides he'd rather aim for easier targets and moves on.  She barely notices.

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