Damn Allergies

Ah, May in D.C.--while it's warm and pleasant and not yet stiflingly hot. But it's also allergy time, as Mother Nature that horrible bitch-goddess decides to try and destroy humankind (and I don't mean in that contrived M. Night Shamalyan way where the trees killed everyone except Marky Mark--the Funky Bunch we aren't so sure about). We can stock up on medications, but what did humans do before Claritin? Just sit there, runny nosed for months? Untolerable!

Allergies are just a way of natural selection getting at us, since the armies of ancient days clearly couldn't be very effective with watery eyes and sneezes. Somehow, the allergic ones must have been working the home front, or they invented gunpowder so had a natural advantage. I'll see if I can get this theory published.