Friday, May 15, 2009

"Shuttle" Review

Last night's film was a slasher pic called "Shuttle" which was basically about two young lasses of questionable virtue (SPOILER--turns out one of them slept with the other's fiancee--MEOW! But no catfight. : ( ) who decide to try and save money by taking an airport shuttle home after their spring break trip. Of course two frat-like douchebags angle their way onto the shuttle despite the fact that the less douchy of the two actually had his brother on his way to pick them up in his car. (SPOILER--the two dudes get mutilated and murdered, so what's the lesson here? Airport tail just ain't worth it! Stick with your ride home and pick up chicks in a bar instead) Of course, the shuttle driver is a maniac and a killer--which shouldn't come as any surprise. I once took one of those from the New Orleans airport on what should have been a fifteen minute drive and it took well over an hour to get into the Garden District, and on the way he lost one of the other passengers' laptops. Of course he was more of a goofy maniac, not the stabby kind.

Anyway, the driver in the movie takes them on a detour, and despite several chances to actually escape our somewhat-less-than-MENSA-candidate passengers instead get sliced and diced and run over, and the two girls remaining are taken to a warehouse where the driver takes snapshots of them and it becomes clear that he's planning on selling them into white slavery in Asia (the driver's not Asian himself, but much like sushi and anime cartoons, white slavery is something Asian that even white guys can enjoy!). Mind you, at the climax one of the heroines had managed to cut the driver's wrist, stab him in the leg with a shard of mirror, bash his head with some metal thing, and even shoot him, and the guy still managed to force her into a shipping crate and lock her in. I have to give the man an "A" for effort--he just wanted it more! Really, I'd like to think if even someone with an extra 100 pounds on me was trying to force me into a crate and I'd already done that much damage to him, I'd have a pretty strong chance of not going in the crate. But the upshot is she's probably off to an exciting and exotic life in the Far East.


  1. How would this flick rate on the Road House 2 scale?

  2. Somewhere around "Joyride".