Nothing pisses me off more than a stupid idiot. Of course, I should rephrase that--some idiots are just fine, when they don't harm themselves or others. I just don't care for idiots who arent' aware that they're idiots (see, Al Gore, George W Bush, Dan Snyder) or idiots who are actually proud of their idiocy, as though it is some badge of honor (Sarah Palin). And then there are idiots who use the word "literally" wrong.
My theory is that there are a large number of people who use the word "literally" because they aren't aware of the word "figuratively". Such as:
1) "I could literally kill that guy." Really? You're prepared to stalk and kill this person, and most likely hide the body in a hole somewhere (need your "Hole Buddy"!) and concoct an alibi? All because he didnt' serve you a beer fast enough? Psycho!
2) "That is literally the hottest chick on the planet." Really? You've somehow done a survey of the 3 billion women on the planet, and used some generally understood metric to judge "hotness", and found this woman to outshine them all? That's an impressive study, you should publish these findings!
3) "I could literally eat a horse right now." Really? You're prepared to pay some farmer for one of this thoroughbreds, ask him to kill it for you (I'm assuming you don't want the unpleasantness of wielding the axe and the horse screams to haunt your nights), and cook up all its parts, and eat the whole thing? Take some TUMS (R).
4) "That guy is literally retarded." Really? That man who cut you off in traffic is in fact a special needs case, with a sub-level IQ, which probably accounts for his driving erratically and not checking his blind spot? You mean to tell me that the state hands out drivers' licenses to people of such dangerously low intelligence levels that it would jeopardize the very lives of its citizenry? Okay, in this case you're probably right.
How-to Publish a Range Statement
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