Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Wolfpersons Rule

With the upcoming Halloween season, not enough attention has been paid to Wolfmen (and Wolfwomen, for that matter). Sure, zombies have been big for a while--from the George Romero "Living Dead" series, where all you had to do to defeat a zombie was walk a bit fast, to the "28 Days Later" zombies which can run like Carl Lewis and don't seem all that interested in BRAIIINNS. And Vampires have always been popular, dating from the Christopher Lee and Bela Lugosi Draculas to the Buffy Vampire Slayer and teenybopper Twilight vampires. (Though I find the less charming and more frightening "Nosferatu" style animalistic vampires far more compelling!) But Wolfpeople have been getting short shrift by the pop culture--there hasn't been a good wolf movie since "American Werewolf in London" and that was a comedy.

Here's why wolfmen are better than zombies and vampires:

1) They only have to work once a month, so they totally make it worth it.

2) They're not scared of dogs, so they can totally hide under your porch if they have to.

3) Unlike vampires, they aren't scared of garlic, crosses, or sharp sticks. Only a silver bullet can do them in, and who keeps silver bullets around?

4) They can probably be tamed which would be pretty cool. Feeding one could be a bitch though.

5) Werewolves can act totally normal when it's not a full moon. Zombies and vampires are weird all the time.

6) At least one Wolf Man--Wolfman Jack--has been a successful rock and roll dee jay. How many vampires have been successful in broadcasting? Except Keith Olbermann, zero! And Zombie Glenn Beck is just no Wolfman Jack.

7) Pale skin or a lot of fur? We'd mostly prefer pale skin in dating partners, but these are monsters, people--fur is much more effective in keeping warm and deflecting attacks.

I think I presented a pretty solid case.


  1. How can you leave out Teen Wolf in this conversation?

  2. does Wolverine count? Hugh Jackman.... rowr!

  3. DF--I said GOOD movies....though I do like Michael J. Fox.

    Brett--Wolverine does count! No Vampire superheroes, right?

  4. Notice I left out Teen Wolf Too.

  5. DF--you mean Jason Bateman's Oscar vehicle? The one that made me laugh and cry and ask for my money back--even though it was an in-flight movie?

  6. Yes fortunately Mr. Bateman redeemed himself in Arrested Development and Dodgeball (why that movie never got the Academy Award still blows my mind).