Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Things to Know When Flying

Got back from Puerto Rico last night and will recount the misadventures of this trip soon. But it seems that every time I fly, I learn new and exciting things! Such as:

1) When you pass gas on the airplane, and have your headphones on, just because you can't hear it doesn't mean that the guy sitting next to you can't hear it either.

2) Apparently two shifty looking and heavily sunburned Italian guys can make it through security with large coconuts in their bags (yes we're hoping to start a super race of palm trees in DC). But if one of those guys is trying to bring his sunblock, he might as well have "Al Quaeda Class of 2001" stamped on his bag.

3) Any man or woman thinking about having a precious little snowflake of a kid should spend some time listening to someone else's precious little crotchfruit screeching two rows behind them for a 3 hour trip.

4) Apparently if the hippie girl in your row is scared of flying, she will drink a lot of red wine and spill a bit of it on her shaggy boyfriend.

5) A coconut in your bag is a burden. A coconut in your bag is a doubly painful burden when you're carrying the bag over your shoulder which was heavily sunburned.

6) Direct flights are really the only way to go.

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