Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Dial M for Murderessness

Last night's film was "Dial M for Murder", Alfred Hitchcock's 1954 classic starring Ray Milland and Grace Kelly (who would go on to be princess of Monaco, and would die tragically in a car crash or a revolution by the Monacanian peasants, I forget which story was actually true and which one I made up). Milland wants to kill Kelly, his wife, and blackmails an old acquaintance to do it, plotting every part of the murder down to the tiniest detail. Of course, it's got the usual Hitchcockian twists, and unfolds in the most dramatic and suspenseful ways, but it got me to thinking--aren't there easier ways to kill your wife?

Take OJ for instance--he figured he'd just put on some gloves, get all stabby with her and her man-friend, then go on a run from the police and still avoid a conviction because enough jurors were so mentally limited that they couldn't connect obvious evidence. (Not that it helped that the prosecution was incompetent and OJ had a top notch legal team which lacked nothing but scruples)

The other thing I noticed is that in Hitchcock films the characters tend to be upper middle class--always wearing suits and dresses, piles of fancy liquor bottles on the table and studies full of bound volumes, and all speaking with perfect diction. What if they could make a remake of Dial M for Murder, taking place in a New Jersey subdivision? Imagine the possibilities when the whole thing turns more into an episode of "Cops"!

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