Wednesday, June 24, 2009

El Brando, Presidente for Life

I've read a bit about American adventurers who took it upon themselves to conquer foreign countries with nothing but a bit of pluck and derring-do. William Walker is a good example of this--he just up and decided to go take over Nicaragua in the 1850s, becoming dictator for a while (things didn't turn out so great for him, but he had a better run than being mayor of Buffalo). It got me thinnking, I could totally be a dictator of a small Central American country! All I need is to learn some Spanish, gather some ruffians with guns and jeeps, and go to town!

Pros: I do like enchiladas and whatever else they serve in the area (I'm sure it's not much different from Tex Mex), and the warm weather would be pretty neat. I can also make a play to put in an MLB franchise, which would do wonders for the country's tourist trade. I'd also get to give the country a cool new name, like "Brandonia" or "El Brandonia". I'd be a pretty benevolent dictator too, executing only the most annoying people in my cabinet.

Cons: Likely I'll be killed shortly after taking power, probably by some other American adventurer who is hired by George Steinbrenner to get rid of my MLB franchise. The El Brandonia Pelicans (that'd be our MLB team) would be no more! I'm sure Manny Ramirez will be pissed when he has to leave the country to go back to the Dodgers.

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