So, holidays are approaching and you have to lay out hard earned cash for gifts--what do you do? After all, if you add up co-workers, friends, fambly, and tips for servicepeople, you can be talking about some big bucks!
When we were little kids, it was fine--just ask dad for some money and use it to go buy him a tie, or make something really neat out of popsicle sticks. (Note--if my kids ever give me something made of popsicle sticks? Then I'll get them back next year by making some shoddy piece of crap out of straws. Two can play at that game, kids!) But once we're earning our own money we're expected to do better. (Just try giving your boss a painting made with glued bits of macaroni for Christmas this year. You might find your office being relocated to a broom closet!)
This is where Brando Poems come in handy. See, people are going to get toys, bottles of wine, gift baskets and ties every year, and will soon grow tired of this stuff (except maybe the wine, which they will drink and then need more of next year, unless you're giving the wine to a recovering alcoholic and you should really stop doing that you insensitive cretin!). But a Brando Poem provides a new batch of happiness every time the recipient gets one. Plus, by giving the recipient fully copyrights to the poem, this can be an investment! Here's this year's special holiday poem:
Ring around the yuletide tree,
Or Hannukah bush, if your last name is Lev-y,
Make sure to drink less egg nog, since it's quite full of fats,
And be sure to find a sitter, to watch your little brats,
Don't deep fry your turkey, unless you watch it close,
And sit back and enjoy the films of actress Glen Close,
Enjoy the colored lights as they twinkle,
Have plenty of cider, even if it makes you tinkle,
Wish specialness and light on all those you see,
But not that guy down the street because he's a dick.
I highly advise you to get the copyright registered before other readers get the same idea.