1) If someone keeps referring to the sex they just had as "consensual sex" it's sort of creepy.
2) An ever increasing amount of my day is spent trying to not seem stupid. I'm not sure what to make of that.
3) I feel a bit guilty when a restaurant's chef went through all the trouble of making a nice presentation of the food and all I want to do is break it apart and eat it and wonder why it's not a bigger portion.
4) I can't stand fake cheese and yet I'm at peace with Doritos. I'm complicated like that.
5) For every ten people you hear talking into their hands-free cell phones, at least one of them does not actually have a hands-free cell phone and is in fact nuts.
6) To take advantage of better products and lower prices, you're better off living technologically ten years behind everyone else. You can do it--after all everyone ten years ago was able to live like that. Just don't be upset when your friends ask you weird things like whether you got their text.
7) I like to say I drink beer and wine for the crisp refreshing taste. But if someone offered me nonalcoholic beer or wine I'd probably laugh at them.
Envelopes – Essential Buyers Manuals
7 years ago
Dude, I just got a Nintendo64. Want to come over and play GoldenEye? It's so awesome.
ReplyDeletere: No. 1 - Especially if you "consented" in your sleep.
ReplyDeleteAs for No. 5, I'm betting the number is way, way higher.
MSnay--is it compatible with my Commodore 64?
ReplyDeleteFoggy--I like the implication that it is extra special that it was "consensual". As in, this time!
Haha. My brother and I recently had a big laugh over the It's Not Sunny "statuatory rape" episode... would you rather be known for statuatory or regular? As a woman, I feel like straight up rape would be a feather in my cap.
ReplyDeleteWhat...what???
Also, non alcoholic beer is pointless, stupid. Like decaf coffee. Just drink the real shit.
Brett, it's not really rape if you give your consent!
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of "consent," because it conveys no enthusiasm whatsoever. Like, "Well, yeah, sure, fine, just make it quick."
ReplyDeleteShannon--maybe there should be a word for half-hearted consent. Like "consennui".
ReplyDelete