Friday, May 13, 2011

Demons Galore!

The movie "Paranormal Activity 2" was entertaining for me, as a fan of demon possession (the concept in culture, not the real thing. Possessed people are awful conversationalists and even worse houseguests. No thanks!). This film follows the same "all this was captured on home security footage" theme as the original, and features the family of the sister of one of the victims from that film. This family consists of the sister, her husband, his teenage daughter from a previous marriage, and their toddler son who they unfortunately named "Hunter".

Sorry, folks, but you should never name a kid "Hunter". It's just too easy. Park rangers go around telling bullies that they're supposed to throw any victims named "Hunter" back into the wild, since it's just not sporting anymore. You'd be better off naming the kid "Nedrick".

They also have a Mexican housekeeper who of course always does the sign of the cross and believes in spirits, so maybe the demon that enters the picture just has a problem with tired stereotypes. Just ONCE I want to see a movie where an elderly Mexican lady points out that she's a Presbyterian and don't follow any of that mystical crap.

So the family comes home one day to see much of the house (though only certain rooms) trashed, yet nothing is stolen. This exmplains putting in an extensive security camera system with microphones, because there's nothing creepy about filming everything you do inside your house and recording everything said in there. Even more hilarious the daughter invites her horny toad boyfriend over when the parents are out! I expect the parents will find some missing footage...if you know what I mean. I mean illicit sex, folks! (Never mind also that only one security camera focuses on the outside of the house. Wouldn't you also want to be able to spot anyone lurking outside? But that doesn't advance the plot, so lets' digress).

Much like in the first film, the "presence" makes itself known with eerie, slight things, like misplaced pool cleaning devices and the baby crying for no reason. Understandably, the baby crying for no reason makes perfect sense, what with it being a baby and all. But why does the dog bark a lot at whatever is haunting them? Dogs have a strong sense of smell, should we assume that demons aren't good at bathing?

Sure enough, this devolves into the demon finally attacking members of the family, and the father (the skeptic!) breaking down and getting demon-fighting tips from the Mexican housekeeper. Besides my desire to see an elderly Mexican Presbyterian, I'd also like just once for an old "mystical" person to be consulted on some occult thing, and it turn out they don't know what the hell they're talking about. "Light some candles, and burn the hair of your first born...ok, I kind of make this stuff up as I go along...." Of course, the lady in this case does seem to know what she's talking about, which makes me think--if she can handle demons, why is she cleaning houses? I'd be taking that lady to Vegas once the demonectomy was done! Cha-freaking-ching, folks!

Also, if my house ever gets a demon I'm getting the damn thing to sign a sublease.

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