Planking

When kids today aren't constantly on my damn lawn or building robots that steal my medicine in my sleep, they're coming up with new zany fads that make no sense to an old war-horse like myself. This latest thing is called "planking" and involves laying stiff as a board in various public places and getting a photo taken of yourself. Yes, that's about it.

I have to say though, considering I'm normally reading about kids getting injured egging houses or beating up innocent patrons in fast food joints and displaying their johnsons at drive thrus, it's nice to see a new fad that is completely harmless. If anything, "planking" seems a bit retro, like kids stuffing themselves in phone booths in the 1950s or sitting atop flagpoles in the 1920s. But is there ever a truly inappropriate time to plank?

Perhaps at a funeral--the guests might not like to see you lay stiff as a board next to the deceased. Or if you're an emergency room doctor or nurse--imagine the poor surgeon, not knowing which stiff to operate on!

Or let's say you're laying flat in the road--what should I, a humble driver, do about this? Assume it's a fancy speed bump? Assume this is some sort of relgious penance, drive slowly across your body? Confusion would abound.

But if this keeps the kids out of trouble for a while, so be it. Just don't go planking on my damn lawn.