Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The Lack of Trump

With Donald Trump dropping out of the presidential race, late-night comedians are losing a major source of material. I'd predicted that Trump was only in this thing as a publicity stunt, so his dropping out comes as no surprise, but let's pause to reflect on what we missed out on:

1) A presidential debate where the opponent is repeatedly referred to as a "loser" and told to "get real".

2) A wholesale invasion of the Middle East oilfields, because this is such a workable plan and why didn't any previous president think to do this?

3) The U.S. declaring bankruptcy, and so not having to pay its loans to any creditors, foreign or domestic. Again, why didn't any previous president think of this?

4) The first U.S. President to go through four First Ladies in one term, setting a record that can only be surpassed by Newt Gingrich.

5) The entire Cabinet being chosen by pitting candidates against one another in weekly competitions, televised for the drooling masses--oh no, is that Omarossa they just brought in for Secretary of Defense??? But she's so awful!

6) Somehow losing six northern states to Canada in a deal gone bad.

7) Greater relations than ever with "the Blacks".

8) All major presidential addresses leaving the cliffhanger finale--will we or won't we bomb North Korea?--for next week, at prime time.

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