Among the many reasons I don't watch films in the theaters anymore (besides annoying schedules, high ticket and concession prices, uncomfortable seats, the fact that the picture won't pause while I go to the bathroom, and the fact that I can't drink Scotch during the picture unless I use that water bottle that just isn't the same) is the fact that you often hear a screaming toddler in the audience. What's that, you ask? Do I spend my time at G-rated pictures about cartoon bunnies and cowboys eating pudding? Nope, I'm talking about evening shows of violent and sexually explicit movies, ones with any combination of the following words in their titles: "Death", "Blow", "Deathblow", "Blowdeath", and of course, "Deathblow Below".
So what the hell is wrong with these people who'd bring their small kids to this sort of film? Are they just that poor, that they can afford high movie prices but an extra twenty for a babysitter is too much to ask? (And before anyone says "a babysitter for $20? You can't even get an ex-con for that", I say there's any number of high school kids who'll do it if you don't get too picky about keeping them from your liquor cabinet).
The problem is clearly people so self absorbed that they cannot leave their kids at home or god forbid stay at home with them--instead, they have to make everyone else suffer for their awful, awful failings as parents. The only consolation is that while we normals only have to tolerate the screaming and disruption for brief periods in public, these ghoulish "parents" can't escape the pain for at least 18 years.
How-to Publish a Range Statement
4 months ago