Keep the Tip, Said the Leper to the Hooker

Tipping is a sore subject for a lot of people who worked in restaurants, since anyone who had to depend on the voluntary tippage from a customer has at least once been stiffed, and then of course we see the other extreme where the service was nonexistent but a mandatory service charge was added to the bill, like in this case. Comments on such stories often get heated, with the two camps forming:

1) The "I wait tables for a living and if you don't pay at least 20% for your food you're scum and you'll get extra saliva in your drinks!" camp.

2) The "I'm tired of crappy service, you should consider yourself lucky if I leave change for a buck on the table when I'm done! And if you don't like it, get a new skill set!" camp.

3) The "I'm European and we don't tip in Europe so I'm not going to tip in the U.S., even though we Europeans like to mock Americans for not learning other people's cultures when we visit. By the way, so what if you saved us from the Nazis? What have you done for us lately?" camp.

4) The "Maybe tipping shouldn't be voluntary, but fixed into the prices and give servers higher salaries" camp.

5) The "What is this tipping you speak of? Should I have been leaving extra money on the table?" camp.

6) The "You're all idiots, you can get great food right out of the dumpsters." camp.

Regardless of the merits of dumpster cheese, it's good to run over the basic rules--tipping about 20% is normal, more for good service, less for poor service, and if the service is so bad you don't want to tip at all (say, if the server basically bites your arm) then you'll want to talk with management about it. 20% isn't hard to figure out--a buck for every $5, two for every $10--and when you're paying ask yourself whether you'd be happy receiving that amount of money for providing the amount of service provided (extra refills on drinks, adequate attention, carrying heavy steaming plates). After all, if it bothers you that the tip makes a $10 burger come out to $12 and tax, then there's always fast food. It ain't rocket surgery!