Monday, July 26, 2010

Jaws--A Story of a Man and His Shark

I'm starting to read the 1974 novel "Jaws", about hijinks ensuing at a Long Island beach town when a shark does its sharky thing all over the tourists. (Incidentally, they really should make a movie based on this book--it's very gripping so far!) Basically, the town's police chief, Martin Brody, is torn between trying to protect the townfolk from becoming sharkfood, and preventing a panic that could prove economically devastating to a town dependent on summer tourism.

What I don't understand is why the town didn't go for the simplest solution to their shark problem. Invite some Japanese fishermen over! Those guys love killing sharks and making soup out of it. Extra bonus if you can get Greenpeace swampy-tree-huggers to try and protect the shark, even blocking the Japanese harpoons with their scrawny, vegan-diet ridden bodies. This book could quickly go from a shark-fear suspense novel to a political thriller.

Of course, there are other, less conventional solutions to shark problems. One is to allow BP to drill off the beach, since the oil spill would drive away the shark. Another solution? Fill the water with salt water crocodiles, who could scare off the shark. Too many crocodiles eating tourists, you ask? Not a problem! Fill the water with giant jellyfish that can scare away the crocodiles. The jellyfish then could be driven off by a massive colony of stingrays. And as we all know, the stingrays would migrate away during winter.

Seriously, Hollywood--buy the rights to this thrilling book right away!

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