Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Tackiness? From the Clintons? The Hell You Say!

So, Chelsea Clinton is getting married to some dude who looks like a complete tool. Seriously guy, if that's the best you can do with facial hair, you need to go clean shaven! Of course this will be an expensive and extravagant affair, which is estimated to cost upwards of $20 million dollars. What else could be purchased for $20 million?

1) 100 microbrewery startups;

2) A year of college for 1,000 students;

3) Enough beer for six of my friends for a week;

4) 200 better looking brides, or 400 better looking grooms through a Russian mail-order catalogue (no offense! I'm sure they're wonderful kids. But seriously, and in a nonpartisan way, they're just plain unattractive);

5) Legal fees to cover 20,000 hours of representation in Bill Clinton's next sex harassment suit; or

6) Four payouts to Bill Clinton's groping victims.

Now, it has been pointed out to me by dense people that "hey, it's their (families') money, they have every right to spend it any way they want!" That is a pointless strawman argument, since I never questioned their right to spend their money the way they want to. They can also spend that money on 10 million copies of "Nightline" transcripts and burn them all--no one is questioning that right. I'm simply pointing out that that is a ridiculous sum of money for a one-day party and says a lot about the people--by which I mean both sets of parents, because I doubt Chelsea and Whatshisname insisted on something so extravagant--who choose to spend it this way. (And I get that famous dignitaries and celebrities will be attending, but again, there is no requirement to turn a celebration of marriage into a snooty world-class fete) Of course, this is coming from someone who is trying to keep his own upcoming wedding down to a budget where I won't have to finance it, so make of that what you will.

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