Things I Can't Stand

1) Pants.

Okay, pants is the only thing I'm thinking of that I can't stand. Here it is, dead of summer, where the temperature will not dip below 80, and my legs are completely covered. Madness!

The invention of pants dates back to 1724, when Horatio J. Pantaloon was sitting on his couch watching the wall (they didn't have TV back then) and his wife complained about his hairy legs being on the table. So to keep the nagging to a minimum, he invented the leg coverings we have today. Now, I'm sure my co-workers are glad that I wear pants, as I'm sure they have no interest in seeing some hairy drumsticks puttering about, but somehow even if I shaved them I don't think it'd fly. And wearing a man-kilt wouldn't work, since adding "man-" before anything automatically implies a defensiveness about a girly quality. And I don't want to have to fake a Scottish brogue all day long.

Women of course have the option of the dress, an option that I usually approve (but don't approve vocally, because that's sexual harassment!) and unless it's winter I don't see why they'd wear pants when they have this option. But men? We have not yet embraced this new century, so I guess it's living under the tyranny of pants.