Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Gigantic Wasps' Nest!

I have long been a tireless fighter in our war against stinging insects. I'd probably be perfectly fine with them if they avoided humans, but the little bastards seem to get a thrill out of ruining our picnics and barbecues. During this summer, I twice had to eliminate a bees' nest under the table on the balcony--one would think after having the next destroyed, other bees wouldn't decide to build there. Clearly the bees are no better than Americans who insist on living in flood zones. Either that, or they have some sort of bee-home insurance that helps them rebuild each time.

Was it unwise for me to go to battle with the balcony bees wearing only shorts and flip flops, and armed with only a broom and a pitcher of water? Maybe so. But I haven't been stung, so consider the lesson as yet unlearned!

Then I saw this article and saw the photo--in the attic of a pub they found a wasps' nest the size of a small car. EEK! I think I'd need a bigger broom!

And wasps suck worse than bees--unlike bees, the wasps don't disembowel themselves when they sting you so they just go and have at it. Also unlike bees, they create no honey or no terrible, terrible films like 1979's "The Swarm" which ensured that Katharine Ross would never act again. As it turns out, this particular nest contained a half a million wasps so they had to call in professionals. Good thinking! But just remember that next time you're drinking a beer in your favorite bar--anything could be lurking just upstairs from you!


  1. at your next picnic, maybe make a line of severed bees' heads on cocktail toothpicks to warn the others...'this guy must be nuts!' they'll think...but don't get them confused for h'ordeuvres!

  2. LT--it worked for Vlad the Impaler.