Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Can't Spell Palin Without "Pain"

Sarah Palin--whenever I hear that name, I imagine removing the "L" because all she brings is pain, which would be great if she were French in which case it'd be fresh bread all over, but alas, French-ness is too "elite" for someone of her delicate salt of the earth sensibilities. No crepes and quiche for her! (Though I'd agree regarding the quiche thing, quiche just plain sucks). Instead, she has a "pizza summit" with none other than living Internet troll himself, the Donald Trump. Now, I've never been to "Famous Famiglia's" myself, but Times Square pizza? Anyone with their wealth can hire someone who'll tell those boobs that if they want a pizza summit, they need to host it at John's or Lombardi's.

As for Trump, I've speculated before that he is just doing everything for the attention, and never really wanted to be President. With Palin, it's harder to tell--surely, this national tour she's taking does add value to her "brand" which means more book and TV deals, and of course undeserved fame. But she is just crazy enough, just full enough of hatred for this country, that she would actually subject it to her leadership if she thought she had a chance. A person who considers playing footsie with the cheerleader Sean Hannity to be a "hard hitting interview", a person who has had a disaster of a political career (sinking whatever small hope John McCain had of becoming president), a person who helped kill the chances of the GOP taking an additional two Senate seats last year--this is the sort of person who should be laughed out of the Republican party. (She should also be subject to a media blackout simply because she isn't officially running for anything, and has ducked the media on her stupid tour, and uses expressions as juvenile as "lamestream" to describe them. But if they're dumb enough to keep following her, then maybe they are "lamestream")

But why does she still poll well? She's no more conservative than say Herman Cain or Rick Santorum, and while she may be pretty that surely can't be enough or we'd be talking about whether Kristi Noem should be on the ticket. Her speaking style is best described as "village idiot" and simply being the VP nominee last time around isn't some sort of magical thing or we'd be looking at President Lieberman or President John Edwards (shudder!). But the answer to this is pretty obvious.

If you're a conservative Republican, and you can't stand Obama and the liberals and the MSNBC and all that, and you want to register your disgust in any way you can, just picture then being called up by a pollster who asks your opinion on the candidates for 2012. Telling them you like Mitt Romney or Tim Pawlenty or even Newt Gingrich is one thing. But say that you support Sarah Palin, and man, that sends a message! The message being "I am so pissed at Obama I am willing to put a talking baboon in the White House even if that means this country will go up in a fiery inferno when she mistakenly hits the wrong button."

Yes, Palin is a vehicle for rage. I'm just hoping that in the event this crazy lady really does run, the voters will be wise enough to say "ok, you had your laughs, now go sit down in the corner while real people are voting. Because the person we nominate might actually become president, and might want to serve more than two years."

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