Dogs Rule, Cats Suck

It's no secret that I think dogs are generally good creatures, with the innocence of a newborn baby and the land speed of an NFL wide receiver. Cats, of course, are genetically disposed towards speed and agility, but they have the attitude of a surly 13 year old hipster, and therefore need a good beating. My friend's story this morning of her cats destroying her basil plants just reinforced my contempt for the felines.

But dogs--now, there's some heroics! Reading these stories about dogs saving owners and strangers, routinely taking wounds for the betterment of their masters, even doing more to fight for my country than I ever did--wow, that just gets depressing! Every time I walk into a wall or get stuck in a traffic jam or forget my keys I usually just say "well, at least I'm better than a dog." No more can I say that.

But at least I'm better than a cat.